My 'Blurt' Prologue...

My story is a long one. Though, now that my life is on track- it feels like just that.
A Story. Maybe someone else's story? I don't know..
Who would have thought this would begin from trying to learn how to touch type?
This is where the idea of typing about my life, my story, on a screen begins.
Surely, by the time I have finished pouring my heart out onto a blank canvas, putting it into
words for someone other than me to understand, I should be able to type 60 words per minute and
my soul will be lighter. My head will be clearer. I will be complete...

Friday, March 30, 2012

25) Words of the heartbroken

I’m trying really hard not to cry over you because every tear is just one more reminder that I don’t know how to let you go. It’s only after someone is gone do you realize how much you miss them… My friends are always telling me to move on, to give up. But why? Why should I? They don’t see you the way that I see you. They don’t look into your eyes and see the world. Why would they understand? They can’t possibly imagine what it means to look at your best friend and see all their hopes and dreams come true. I wish for once, just once, they could walk a mile in my shoes. But they wouldn’t need to walk that far, they would just take one step and suddenly, they would take back every bit of ‘getting over you’ advice they had ever given me and realize you’re my life, you were meant for me, and that moving on or giving up is simply not an option. You never really stop loving someone. You just learn to try to live without them. I really think there’s a reason that I love him so much. Like something is telling me not to let him go. Every time I follow my heart… it leads me to him. I mean… what other explanation is there. Why is it that he is all I can think about? Why is it that no matter how upset I am… I see him and I can’t help but smile? Why is it that when he smiles at me… I get that feeling in my stomach? And even when he’d broken my heart, and hurt me as much as anyone could ever hurt me… when he left to me… and I tried to hate him… why then did I still feel those same feelings? Answer me that, and then I’ll tell you why I let him hurt me so much.  Don’t keep running back to the one person that you need to walk away from.   If I can’t have you, at least i was able to know I had you. Someday you’ll know, that I was the one for you. No one realizes the beauty of love, until you lose it. If the human body can live with food and water, then why does it feel like I can’t live without you?

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