My 'Blurt' Prologue...

My story is a long one. Though, now that my life is on track- it feels like just that.
A Story. Maybe someone else's story? I don't know..
Who would have thought this would begin from trying to learn how to touch type?
This is where the idea of typing about my life, my story, on a screen begins.
Surely, by the time I have finished pouring my heart out onto a blank canvas, putting it into
words for someone other than me to understand, I should be able to type 60 words per minute and
my soul will be lighter. My head will be clearer. I will be complete...


Thursday, August 19, 2010

10) Switzerland

This may be a bold statement, but I think I have a decent understanding of how the 'emotions' side of the human mind works. I think I have had enough experience of psychological and emotional torment and have been a firsthand witness in enough cases to have earned a degree in something. I can lend advice when it comes to how to deal with a situation and most times, it is some sort of relationship drama.

I am revealing my secrets. My information, worthy of a degree, about what makes people tick. I believe I have figured out the secret to a peaceful life.

Scenario 1.

You meet someone. You spend some time with them or speak often via text messages or phone calls. You get on well and both seem keen. Soon, one person seems to be sending more texts or calling then the other. Then, you message or call to see why they are no longer messaging and calling. Then, you are messaging or calling to see why they didn't reply to your 'reply to my message or call' message. You appear psychotic. You try to stop them from thinking you are psychotic, by calling or messaging them with an excuse or explanation. You lose the person. Game over.

And then you are left thinking, where did I go wrong?

So often, women (and some men) make the mistake of appearing too needy, too keen. Very soon they are chasing a man (or woman) that they are interested in. How does it go from being a simple conversation in the attempt to get to know someone- to becoming an obsession with waiting for a reply? Aren't we in the 21st Century where women can take control of the relationships put themselves out there and get what they want? Don't we hear about woman being the instigators of one night stands, 'no strings' booty calls or proposing to the man she loves? These women have just changed the way they 'think' and are happy to take a leap and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out- Meh. Pick yourself up and try again.

What if the secret was actually about adopting some simple principles, rules if you may- that assist with dealing with everyday situations? Every action has a reaction, but what if you remove a fighter from the fight?

The most successful concept I have found is- you can think it. Think whatever you like… Just don’t say it! Fantasize about all the horrible words and things you would like to say and do but hold back. Be the bigger person. Don’t say something hurtful in the heat of the moment and have to be sorry for it later.

Mobile phones are the devil. They give you the illusion of having the power. Text messaging has created a world of dramas because emotions are very hard to relay in a text and it is very easy to LOSE YOUR SHIT!!

Scenario 2

You have been with your partner for some time. You feel like you do everything for him, and he has to do very little. Yet, you ask him to do something around the house… A favour. You leave for work and leave it in his more than capable hands. You get home from work, it’s not done. You start to walk around the house going crazy thinking ‘that’s all he had to do! I can’t believe I do everything, look at this, look at that! A mess! Pig!’ Then, you pick up your phone. And start typing. And typing. And then, hit send….? Or save it in your drafts, wait until you calm down a bit and then see if you really wanted to fight, over this?

So, If something really makes you angry (crazy angry) write what you want to say but DONT SEND THAT TEXT! You can vent and get it out, but is it really worth it? Momentarily you will feel better, but if the fight continues you will have to be even more spiteful the next time- how far are you willing to go?

Same applies for new relationships. Don’t be too full on, play it cool, have some fun and enjoy it while it’s new. If it develops into something long term, it will be full on soon enough. The quicker it is full on, the quicker it gets comfortable and then you are an old married couple trying to get your ‘spark’ back. Also, don’t over think things, just go with it.

Chances are that throughout you life, you are going to meet people you don’t particularly like. Whatever reasons you have or opinions you develop, keep them to yourself. Don’t try and convince someone to sway their opinion about someone else. You could bag them until you are blue in the face and try and explain why they are not worth their time, but in the end, you are just going to look like a spiteful person. If they are really as bad as you say, they will hang themselves out to dry eventually and then you can be secretly happy later when they realize you were right all along. And even if you are right, just let it go. Nobody likes a smartass.

Be modest, take compliments. Don’t get a big head; and people will continue to praise you. And don't just settle with what you have... make the most of it but it's ok to want to strive for more. People are drawn to people with ambitions and that are happy with life.

Sometimes, you just need to know when to cut your losses and walk away. Is the person really worth belittling yourself for? Is that fight really worth having? Take the diplomatic approach and Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Look at both sides and if after walking a mile, you still want to punch them? You are a mile away and you have their shoes. Winner. Problem solved.

Be willing to compromise. Remember that if you get into someone’s face, that gives them the right to get back into yours. Be the bigger person, walk away from a fight even if you believe you are right. Appreciate all your relationships and tell the people in your life how important they are to you. Be polite to the people you dislike and remember they might not be as good at pretending as you. They will look really stupid when they are rude to you and you have been friendly to them.

And just think, really think, is it worth fighting over? Do I really need tell that person how useless they are, just because I am frustrated and angry, and make them feel like crap? Stop yelling, stop stomping around trying to prove a point, making a stand. Let it go and move on. Concentrate on the positives. Or just lock yourself in your bedroom and have a 'mental health' moment.

When it comes to relationships and people, I believe being the person who gives in first is the bigger, stronger person. Don’t fight fire with fire, hug the world instead. The world is already full of assholes. You will be spoken about just as much if people have good things to say about you instead of bad. Stand out for being a good, fair, fun person and the people you meet will want to keep you around. Smile, and the world smiles with you.

Be Switzerland in sticky situations, make positive lasting impressions and not only will the world be your oyster, but you will be successful with the most amazing people by your side…

3 comments:

  1. It's so hard to want to compromise though, I often cant help but feel if I compromise, is that just the same as giving in? and if I 'compromise' long enough, will I just never be abe to have a say in what I want.
    I 100% agree with being polite to the ones you dislike. it pisses them off more when you're overly nice, even when you want to punch them in the face repeatedly..... And I though I was alone in writing "those" text messages and saving them... they aren't usually very coherent anyway lol. -cass

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  2. Hi Jesse, I am, doing some catch up reading and I love your comment " The world is already full of assholes" Can that be bumperstickerised? "Be Switzerland" is a very good piece of advice, be the sheltering, humanitarian, and brave one in the world, even when it makes you feel like a target.

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