My 'Blurt' Prologue...

My story is a long one. Though, now that my life is on track- it feels like just that.
A Story. Maybe someone else's story? I don't know..
Who would have thought this would begin from trying to learn how to touch type?
This is where the idea of typing about my life, my story, on a screen begins.
Surely, by the time I have finished pouring my heart out onto a blank canvas, putting it into
words for someone other than me to understand, I should be able to type 60 words per minute and
my soul will be lighter. My head will be clearer. I will be complete...


Saturday, August 14, 2010

1) Butterflies

I am turning over a new leaf- in my attempt to learn how to touch type, I ditched the stupid exercises that are supposed to assist you with your learning and began typing my thoughts instead. I can't believe how anxious I feel about putting my thoughts out there for people to read and have an opinion on. The irony is, I have an opinion on everything.... I guess payback can be a bitch, I'm just hoping it isn't so. I am re-naming this 'blog' to 'blurt' because that's what I feel it will be.

They say every person has their 'other person'. This is most likely not your spouse, as you are will them often and need someone else to talk to about things. It may not be even your best friend. It is a person that no matter what, day or night they would listen and understand you. They know exactly what to say, when to bad mouth someone and when to just listen to you vent. They know your limit like noone else in the world and when you really can't take anymore. You can unravel in front of them, bare your soul and never have to worry about protecting yourself. You can tell them everything and anything and never be judged. They can give you diplomatic advice and never hurt your feelings. You think of them everyday, just to tell them the little things that have happened since the last time you spoke, but can go weeks without speaking and still be just as close. Some people never find one, some people have a few. I am lucky enough to have just one.

Apparently, the best way to determine in a few words who you are, is to be described by someone else. They know who you really are and won't hold back! When I asked my 'other person' how she would best describe me, she asked for a week to think about it. After a week, she asked me if one of the words could be 'intelligent'. Hearing her use that word to describe me, I immediately had to disagree. But that's not in the rules! She has still not yet found another two words to describe me. Watch this space.
 
In a few words, some facts from my own perception are- I am 22. I am a Mum and significant other. Overall, I am loved and appreciated. I know that I make my family proud. I am a planner. I like to have control and direction. I am passionate about the things I believe in. I am not perfect and don't try to be. I am... Me.

Overall, I am the luckiest person in the world to be who I am, where I am and who I am here with. I have made mistakes and errors, some that I would change and some that I would not. I wouldn't change a single day of my life, given the chance as it has made me who I am today. I do believe that everything that happens for a reason and if everything happened so I can be where I am today- it was all worth it.
 
One thing that I really have realised, is life is all about the way you 'think'. If you hate it, it's a chore. If you love it, you will breeze through it. Everyone has different masks in their closet to wear. When you wake up in the morning the choice is yours for which mask you will put on today. I have found changing the way I think, has improved relationships with everyone I have in my life. Knowing the difference with fighting OVER something and fighting FOR something. And knowing, when to put your weapons down and walk away.
 
I feel like I have lots of advice to give and an opinion about everything. Does this make me a know-it-all? Should I keep my thoughts and opinions learned from my own life experiences to myself or try and assist people in their own lives? I have so many ideas on the way people foresee their lives. I am a firm believer in 'thought control' and how you percieve life, determines how successful you are in that life...
 
Well, this is the end of my first post- hopefully soon I can find some humour and make it all more light-hearted...
Until next time,
Jesse XO

3 comments:

  1. Well done Jesse, your first post is "out", now that feels better doesn't it.

    I love the term Blurt.

    I am looking forward to the next one.

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  2. Thanks Julie :)
    And Thanks for your help making it happen!!

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  3. Jesse, I love your comments about the 'other person' it is so true! What would we do in our lives if we didn't have that person to help us re-balance our brains. I can't wait to read your next 'blurt'. Vik

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