We cannot seem to step apart without stepping on our own hearts... Every movement that takes things closer to the end of it all. Control. Who has the control of the situation? Who can be the most stubborn or self righteous? Words just getting miscontrewed for the sake of trying to pass the blame on to one another. Spite and frustration. Helplessness. Limbo. Continuously revisting each issue, each emotion, each time and trying to find some sense. To understand. To find peace....
You are in a bad place. I realise that you are worse off than me emotionally. I once had enought faith for the both of us, but now you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. By walking away from me, you are walking away from my faith. I live by quotes and sayings, finding my strength in having a plan but believing it leads us to the next amazing thing no matter how much pain has to come first.
I AM broken hearted, and I AM a little angry and hurt that you can't give me another try. I have never betrayed you. I would never betray you....
I am terrified for you. I want to comfort you and make it alright again. I want you to believe in yourself. I am just collateral damage in your own self destruction. This was nothing that I did, and there is nothing more that I could have done.
BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU... I would never turn you away if you were to come to me. I would support you through anything. No amount of time would ever go by that if you came to me- I would do anything for you. I just pray that you find the strength to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and channel your stubborness into a success. I never want to see you fail and know that you can make it through anything and are more than capable of achieving everything. You just need to believe in yourself.
I will never change who I am.... I know exactly who I want to be. I don't care that I begged you to take me back or that you have all the power and I have none. I love you and don't want to you to walk out of my life. There is a difference in retaliation and taking action. I was only doing what I felt you just weren't strong enough to do... I am just trying to put your decisions into action so that I can get through. I need a new plan and I can't make one without you in it- when I feel like there is still hope...
But, no matter what happens, or how you perceive my actions.....
I promise, I will never let you down.... I am ME and 'This Too Shall Pass'
XO
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